People take advantage of us. Not something I like to think of, but probably faced by all of us from time to time. But do we bear some of the responsibility too? Do we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of? Like that adage, “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me?” Easy to rant and berate the other in our minds, or while in the comfort of commiserating friends and family. But to speak up, to tell the offending person your feelings? To call them on their behaviour? Not so easy, and not done so much.
Why is that? Why do we knowingly allow ourselves to be treated badly, or at least thoughtlessly? Is it because we want to avoid the unpleasantness of confrontation? Easier to just keep quiet than face any wrath, often more imagined than real? Talk about screwed up if you think about it that way. Someone does wrong by you, and you, the injured party, hesitate to speak up lest you rile the thoughtless doer more? That in so doing you might be perceived as being pushy or rude yourself? It sounds crazy when you put it like that. But still, we can find ourselves being walked on by those who either oblivious or otherwise, choose to ignore the Golden Rule.
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Maybe try that general decision making trick where you pretend you’ve made the decision one way, and live with that, and see how you feel. And then you pretend you’ve made the other choice, and live with that one. Perhaps as close to living in parallel universes as we can get without actually doing it. And finally, you make your decision for real. And know you’ve done the best you can. No regrets. And in turn, hope we do right by others, and save them the trouble of having to confront us.
